Let's start from the very beginning: about a year ago Andrew and I decided that we wanted to have a baby. Well, Andrew decided well over a year ago, but I finally figured I'd let go of my fears about having a baby about a year ago:) Heh. I was pretty dead set against getting pregnant, but Andrew was persistant and patient. I prayed a lot about having a baby--whether it was right for me or not. I knew I wanted to have a baby in my future, but not while I was still in school. I always felt like I needed to wait till I got my degree and became more comfortable in my shoes as a real-life adult.
I didn't get any type of definitive answer about whether or not to get pregnant then or later. The thought of becoming a mom while still trying to finish school and work scared the crap out of me. There was no way I'd survive that type of life! I'd go crazy! Well, one evening as Andrew and I were driving home from campus, I expressed those fears for the hundredth time. I said something along the lines of, "There is no way I could be a mom AND go to school. You know how I get when I'm stressed. I'm already at school and work ALL day...how can I fit a baby into that? It will be too hard to do, Andrew. I just don't think I'm ready." Andrew had the best response. You see, Andrew is very level headed and does what he knows he needs to do without question. He isn't ruled by his emotions as much as I am. Anyway, he said, "Molly, life isn't supposed to be easy. Do you think that is what God wants for us? To have an easy life? We're supposed to do hard things so we can become better people. You will be able to be a mom and finish school."
How did I marry such a logical, wise man? Seriously, he is so good. I thought about what he said to me for a while, and made my decision. We'd try for a baby. It was really surreal because for the longest time I felt like I really wasn't going to get pregnant at all and that life would continue as it was...just Andrew and I, finishing school and going on with life. Andrew gave me a blessing before school started and said that I'd be blessed to get pregnant and be healthy. It felt weird to hear those words coming out of his mouth because I really didn't believe I'd get pregnant.
Well, a few short months in November, I missed my period by maybe a day. I had taken pregnancy tests in the previous months and got negatives each time. I was never disappointed by the negative results because I still wasn't sure how ready I was to become a mom. But in November, I had early pregnancy signs like sore breasts and cravings for lots of food. I took the test on evening when Andrew was on campus taking a test (or something like that). A faint light pink line showed up the window that indicated "yes" to pregnancy. I felt happy...not overly excited, but just happy and content. I texted Andrew some lame. vague text like, "You're going to love me" and drove to campus to pick him up. When he got in the car, he asked me what my message was all about. He first asked, "Did you do the dishes?" (We are the worst at doing the dishes and at that time, it had been at least a month since we touched any of the dishes...it was disgusting). I said, "You'll have to wait and find out." So we got home, and I left the test in the bathroom. He saw it, read it, and just smiled. We didn't have any "WOO HOO" moments, we didn't hug and kiss each other in a moment of excitement. Andrew probably said something like, "I told you" or "cool".
But it was still a happy moment. We celebrated later by going to Olive Garden and buying whatever we wanted!
Self portrait shortly after finding out I was pregnant. You can interpret as you please (and forgive the blue-ness of the photo...I never fixed it from before).
